Firsts

Yesterday I finally bought a couple of pieces of clothing for the baby. For MY baby. And while I know that I will be spending the next 19+ years buying clothes for this kid, this was the first time. I've bought clothes for my nieces, for the children I've taken care of throughout the years, for myself, even for dogs and cats, but wow what an experience to buy my child something warm and snuggly for the very first time.

Another first happened last week when I felt the baby move. I had read that the baby is now moving around quite a bit and will respond if I poke my belly. So while I was waiting for Piper and Rowan to get home from school, I laid down on the couch and poked. I immediately felt a little flutter. It reminded me of the sensation I would get as a kid in a car that would go quickly down a hill and back up, only milder. It happened twice and then I just felt mean poking at it while it was trying to grow and develop. But on Sunday while I was watching football, the baby was really starting to move around in there! I think I have a little fan! Now I feel something in there at least once a day. I have to be lying still to notice it. I can't wait until it's really obvious!

The crazy thing is that I am still having a hard time believing that at the end of all of this, I will be a mommy. I go around all day doing the things I'm supposed to do and eating the things I'm supposed to eat and avoiding the things I'm supposed to avoid. I do all this because I'm pregnant. But then it will really hit me. Not just the words, but the reality. It literally knocks the wind out of me! It happened while I was paying for the clothes at Old Navy last night. I almost started to cry! I had to tell the cashier that this was the first time I had actually bought something for the baby. Saying it out loud made me laugh at myself a little which is great cause it was that or start crying!

Now I'm waiting for other firsts. The ultrasound is one, seeing the baby move and having others be able to see and feel it is another. But what really gives me goosebumps is the other firsts. The first time I hold the baby, breastfeed the baby, change its diaper, kiss its booboo. All the times I've done these things (minus breastfeeding haha) for so many kids. Now I get my own. My own Mackenzie, Breanna, Emmalee, Piper, Rowan, Kathleen, Danny, Duncan, Miller, Gray, Audrey, Melanie, Carly, Connor, Abby, Ethan, Jake, Chloe, Ryan, Bethany, Kristian, Lauren, and the list goes on...

I have loved so many children and now I will finally get the ultimate title of Mommy.

Getting Better. . .

Sorry that the last post was such a downer. I was really feeling terrible! But things have improved quite a bit this last week! I am able to eat and keep food down. I can even brush my teeth without triggering a gag reflex!

I'm very excited about being able to eat semi-normally again.

Another exciting development is that I can now feel the baby when I lie on my stomach! I can't feel it move yet, but there is definitely something in there that wasn't before!

My next midwife appointment is in one week. I will have to get my blood drawn which I hate. If one more woman with a needle tells me, "Well Honey, you better get used to it. If you can't handle a needle, how are you gonna handle childbirth?!" I'm gonna stab her with her own syringe!

More exciting is that in 28 days I get my ultrasound! And then I'll find out if it's a boy or a girl! If the baby refuses to show us, then I'm planning to take a later trip to a 3D ultrasound tech to find out anyway. But I really want to know sooner than later!!!

I am planning on purchasing a sewing machine within the next month and teaching myself to sew. I will have to see how good I am, but I'm thinking about sewing the crib bedding myself. I definitely want to learn to make baby clothes!!! So I want to find out the gender so I can start choosing fabric and patterns!

It is still very hard to believe that the frenzy that is pregnancy will eventually be a little human being that I am completely and utterly responsible for. Its health and happiness, its nutrition and education. This baby has no issues right now, no blemishes, and it will be up to me to take this perfectly clean slate and fill it with what I hope will be the right ingredients for a happy and fulfilling life. Whoa! Of everything I've ever done, this will be the most important job of my life.

It's overwhelming and wonderful and I can't wait to meet this little person!